The Practice of Self-Respect and Self-Compassion

Hello there CBT School Family!  Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, which I am very excited to share with you. 

I think you know by now that I firmly believe in, am a huge fan of, and advocate heavily for the practice of self-compassion.  There are many benefits of practicing self-compassion that I enjoy sharing with you, as well as useful ways to do so.  Self-compassion can really help us with depression, anxiety, our self-esteem, our recovery, etc.  It’s so important!

However, when listening to you over the past couple of months, I have heard hopelessness in some of your voices when you talk about your struggles with self-compassion. It may feel very triggering and too hard for you.  Perhaps you feel like you aren’t deserving of being kind to yourself, which is a common theme of those dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Depression, and Anxiety.  Maybe you are scared that practicing self-compassion will make you lose control and become a useless, lazy bum (none of which is true, by the way).

If you are struggling with self-compassion, or want to continue to improve your practice of it, this podcast episode is for you.  I offer an alternative goal if you are struggling with self-compassion: lean towards self-respect.  Start with self-respect because it entails the absence of saying unkind things to yourself.  Self-respect can lead to self-compassion.  When I say self-respect, I am referring to you honoring your right to be treated fairly and with kindness.  Self-respect is about you treating yourself in ways that are not harmful or disrespectful.  You treat yourself well.  All of us deserve to be treated fairly and equally, and self-respect is a very important practice if you want to master the practice of self-compassion.  I’ll talk about effective ways to practice self-respect, and how this leads us towards the valuable practice of self-compassion, in this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.

During the podcast episode, we take a look at how you can improve self-respect by addressing these important questions.  If you find yourself saying no to the below questions, that is okay!  This is about identifying areas that you would like to change and you can work on one area at a time.

1) Do my behaviors represent and reflect self-respect? 

2) Do my behaviors respect my values? 

3) Do my behaviors respect my beliefs?  

4) Do my behaviors allow me to achieve my goals and values?

5) What are some times I have felt a true sense of self-respect? 

6) Does my behavior lead me towards a sense of mastery (of a skill or a situation)?

7) What behaviors am I doing that damage my sense of self-respect?  

I hope you find the concepts of self-respect and self-compassion, which I am very invested in, helpful and that this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit brings you closer to the practice of them.

Here are some great ideas and examples of ways you can practice self-respect: 

  • Standing up for what you believe in
  • Asking for what you need
  • Voting 
  • Being there for a friend
  • Prioritizing your needs before others (Note: this is not about power and not about control) 
  • Trusting yourself and the universe 
  • Not apologizing for yourself 
  • Being honest  

 

About Kimberley Quinlan

Kimberley Quinlan is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Eating Disorders, Panic Disorder and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s).  Kimberley is highly trained in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), with a heavy emphasis on Exposure Response Prevention (ERP), and has been practicing meditation and mindfulness for many years.  Kimberley has a special interest in the integration of mindfulness principles with CBT for OCD, Anxiety Disorders, and Eating Disorders.  Kimberley has experience treating adults, adolescents, and children, and tailors each program to suit the age and cognitive development of each client.  Kimberley has a private practice in Calabasas and Westlake Village. 

For more information, you can find Kimberley at the following:

Website: https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cbtschool/?hl=en

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KimberleyQuinlanCBTschool/

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